You Can’t Charge Me for a Crime I Already Committed!

Jun 12, 2022

∙ Paid

“All. Old. News.”—The GOP House Judiciary Committee, regarding the hearings on the Jan 6 insurrection

Hey there, buddy, before you try to pin anything on me let’s get one thing straight: I already committed that crime. It’s over! You can’t charge me for a thing I already did, because I did it in the past. You gotta catch me doing that kind of thing in the future. The crime I committed? I already committed it. It’s all old news. It’s donezo. It’s kaput. Get it? It’s kablooey.

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You Can’t Charge Me for a Crime I Already Committed!

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