Don't Talk To Me Until I've Had My Morning Doom Scroll

Hey folks—if it’s early in the day, please don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning everything-is-falling-apart-at-the-seems-doom scroll on my phone. Once I’ve had a piping hot cup of everything-is-bad, I’ll be a LOT more like my usual self.

TBH I cannot think, process, or even care about anything until I’ve gulped down a giant toasty mug of horrifying articles with a splash of five or six TikTok dances.