Fundraising Emails From Assholes

SUBJECT: YOUR ASSHOLE GOVERNOR IS COUNTING ON YOU

Good morning,

As your asshole governor, it’s my duty to be an asshole, day in and day out. That’s why I’ve decided, once again, to pass the most asshole legislation you’ve heard of in your entire life. But being this big of an asshole costs money. And that’s where you come in. I’m not asking for much—whate…