I, Too, Will Be Arrested On Tuesday

Hi everyone,

I just want to let you know—completely unrelated to anything at all—that I will also be arrested this coming Tuesday. No need to do anything about it, just letting you know.

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I’ve gotten a few questions about my recent announcement (above), so I’ll answer them (below):

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Q: What did you do?

A: Nothing much. I spent my weekend catching up on all the Vanderpump Rules drama. But otherwise, things have been mostly normal. I’m just pretty positive that I’ll be arrested on Tuesday, and I wanted all my supporters to have a heads up.

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Q: Does this have anything to do with Trump’s announcement that he’s going to be arrested on Tuesday?

A: What? Wow, I had no idea he said that. He thinks he’s gonna be arrested on Tuesday too? That’s wild. Wow. I guess we’ve got that in common then, huh?

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Q: Seriously? The title of your newsletter today is “I, Too, Will Be Arrested On Tuesday.” Why would you use the word “Too” if you weren’t referring to Trump also getting arrested?

A: I honestly do not know anything about Trump getting arrested, but good for him. I’m not gonna let that rain on my parade, though. Tuesday will still be a special day for me, even if other people are also getting arrested.