Introducing The Ron DeSantis Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Not Good Too

After years of planning and building, we are thrilled to announce the official opening if the Ron DeSantis Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Not Good Too.

But what, exactly, is the Ron DeSantis Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Not Good Too? It’s a center where kids who don’t know how to read can get even worse at reading. It’s also a center where kids who do know how to read can unlearn how to read, and finally catch up with their non-reading counterparts.

But why? Why do we care so much about making sure the next generation of students can’t read anything? Well, here at the Ron DeSantis Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Not Good Too, we understand that an uninformed population is much easier to control—which is why we teach students of all ages that books are bad and learning is for communists.

Speaking of which, we’re beyond excited to announce the grand opening of the Ron DeSantis Center for Teachers Who Teach Too Good and Should Teach Worse, Actually.

Are you a teacher who instills a sense of self-exploration and critical thought in your students? You’re in luck: at the Ron DeSantis Center for Teachers Who Teach Too Good and Should Teach Worse, Actually, we can make you a way worse teacher. We can show you how to put your students into tiny little boxes and force them to grow up with a prescribed identity and a complete misreading of American history. You’ll love it.

Don’t want to come? That’s fine—you will! Attendance of the Ron DeSantis Center for Teachers Who Teach Too Good and Should Teach Worse, Actually is mandatory.

Finally, we’re cautiously optimistic about our latest project, which will be fully unveiled in 2024: the the Ron DeSantis Center for Proving Ron DeSantis Won the Election No Matter What the Outcome Actually Was. Stay tuned!

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Behind the Writing

Paid subscribers have read the following this past Sunday, so to them I apologize. To everyone else, read on!

Hand-in-hand with DeSantis’s war against education is a nationwide conservative movement against transgender people. At CPAC (the Conservative Political Action Conference) this past weekend, a right wing political commentator gave a speech in which he demanded that “transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entirely.”

There is no other way to interpret his speech than as a threat of genocide. People and ideas like this must be shunned and derided to the greatest extent. There can be no other way of understanding their motive than as violence against one of the most at-risk groups in the world. Not to mention that threat is, in many ways, a threat against all of us.

As I’ve said before, and will say again:

If you’re feeling discouraged, angry, or hopeless about the way this country treats its most vulnerable, I encourage you to join me in setting up a monthly donation to the Transgender Law Center:

I’ve been a monthly donor for over three years, and I don’t plan on stopping.

Beyond our wallets, we need to be having difficult conversations with friends, family, and coworkers who may be getting pulled toward genocide-adjacent talk. There are still many people who can be pulled back toward empathy. Social progress doesn’t happen without all of us.

There will be plenty of phone banking and canvassing in the months ahead. In between, the change can always begin at home.

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That’s all for today—thanks, as always, for reading and supporting this newsletter. See you right here next week, or this Sunday if you decide to…

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*Yes, this was just one big Zoolander reference. But we had fun, didn’t we?