I’m Jesus, and I Actually Had a Pretty Terrible Friday

Hey there, I’m Jesus Christ, the Son of God. You may know me from being your Lord and Savior, or perhaps I did some work on your house (I’m a carpenter—everybody needs a day job). Either way, I’d like to make one small note: you keep calling the day I died “Good Friday.” And look: I really gotta disagree—I actually had a freaking terrible Friday.

To be clear, like you, I initially thought it would be a “good” Friday. Heck, I thought it was gonna be a great Friday! Things were going really well for me earlier that week. I’d arrived in the big city and people were super excited to see me. I even had a terrific meal with all my friends—we got our picture painted and everything.