Now That I am Rich, I Won't Shut the Fuck Up
Excerpted from a piece I wrote for McSweeney’s today about JK Rowling, Elon Musk, Joe Rogan, Don Jr, Dr. Oz, etc.
Hello, it’s me, a very rich person. Like, disgustingly rich. As in: hundreds of millions and even billions of dollars rich. And now that I am rich, I have decided that I also won’t shut the fuck up.
I know, I know—you’d think that having enough money to never worry about anything ever again would help me either give most of it away, or at the very least, disappear into a private life that most people can only dream of. But I don’t want to do that. What I want is simple: to never, ever shut the fuck up.
You might ask, “If you’re not really gonna shut the fuck up, can you at least use your platform for good instead of hate?” Great question. And my answer is: you’re clearly trying to make me shut the fuck up, so no.
To be honest…
Q&A about this email
Q: Why isn’t the rest of the piece in this email? I thought that they weren’t ever gonna shut the fuck up.
A: They didn’t shut the fuck up, they just switched where you can read what they’re not shutting the fuck up about. They started in this newsletter, and then if you click on the above link, you’ll get to read their entire piece. And trust me, they’re not shutting the fuck up the entire time.
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That’s all for this week—thanks for reading! Goodbye.