I’m a Guy Who Did All His Own Research on the Vaccine, and I Want to Talk to You About Ukraine

Hi, I’m a guy who did all his own research on the vaccine, and I want to talk your ear off about my latest expertise: Ukraine (which you should actually be spelling Ukraïna, according to the PhD-earning time I just spent browsing Wikipedia).

Sure, sure—you didn’t ask me to talk about Ukraine. In fact, you didn’t say anything at all to me. But here I am, just the same, doing the online equivalent of yelling an inch away from your face about eastern European geopolitics, which I’ve heavily researched for the last twenty-five minutes.

What have I found? That every major historian, politician, and book in the world is wrong. How do I know? I spent the afternoon on the internet.