Super Bowl commercials, 2074

Forget the commercials tonight. They mean nothing. The present is already past. All that matters is the future. Here’s a preview of ads that will run during the Super Bowl in 100 years, when the game will be played exclusively by non-union humanoid robots.

Taco Bell’s New Deneuralyzation Deal
This month, think outside the box that's been implanted in your brain. When you buy either 3 Crunchy Tacos or a Crunchwrap Supreme, we'll perform a discounted extraction of your malfunctioning Taco Bell Brain Companion. Live más, and finally make the noises stop.

The Cenozoic Eras Tour
For 68 million years, mammals have ruled the planet. That’s all about to change. As we near the finale of modern life on Earth, Taylor Swift has returned from cryofreeze to celebrate the end of another era: the Cenozoic Era…