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Upcoming Episodes From Our Podcast About How We're Being Too Mean to the Bigoted Billionaire Who Lives in a Castle
We’re excited to announce our latest project: a thrilling new podcast about how people are being too mean to a bigoted billionaire who lives in a castle.
Now: It may seem obvious that a billionaire is an underdog—so many are, these days. But what if that billionaire lived in a castle?
And what if that billionaire was also a bigot?
And what if that billionaire and all their friends insisted that calling them a bigot was sexist?
And what if that billionaire kept claiming they’re not exactly a billionaire anymore—they’re actually just a many-hundred-millionaire like the rest of us?
Questions like these—and more, unfortunately!—are what this podcast is all about. What else will we cover? Take a look at this episode-by-episode guide:
During our first episode, we’ll discuss two groups: People who are just trying to live their lives, and people who hate that first group of people. We’ll discuss how both groups make good points.
In episode two, we’ll go out of our way to compare the billionaire in a castle to an accused witch being burned at a stake. We’ll do a whole sound design thing for it. We’ll get some absolute pros to do the foley, and it’ll freak you out. You’ll ask, “Wait, I thought the witch hunt thing was just a bad, self-indulgent metaphor?” And we’ll say, “No, she’s literally being burned alive.”
In our third episode, we’ll look at all the ways the billionaire in a castle has been accused of being a bigot. We’ll prove that none of these accusations against the billionaire are true by asking the billionaire if these accusations are true. (This method of inquiry is famously foolproof—at least insofar as we are fools, and we are trying to prove something.)
In episode six, I’ll personally compare the billionaire in a castle to God. I won’t make it clear whether or not I’m being serious.
In our eighth episode, I’ll explain how my background as a former bigot makes me the perfect person to be interviewing a current bigot. The reason? I’m mistaking talking to a bigot with platforming a bigot. Nice!
In our penultimate episode, we’ll all say some absolutely unhinged stuff. Hopefully nobody’s listening this far into the show.
In our final episode, we’ll announce next season’s interviewee: an even wealthier billionaire who makes cars that explode. Everyone’s been way too mean to him.
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Behind the Writing
I’m not going to link or name the podcast this piece is mocking because, well… I listened to it for you, and it sucks. (I did this for research—forgive me.) Also, I feel like this piece kinda still works even if you have no idea what podcast I’m talking about? So… don’t go giving it any more listens than I already did.
The gist of the series is ultimately contained in a line from my piece today:
[They’ll] discuss two groups: people who are just trying to live their lives, and people who hate that first group of people. [They’ll] discuss how both groups make good points.
If you’re feeling discouraged, angry, or hopeless about the way this country treats its most vulnerable, I encourage you to join me in setting up a monthly donation to the Transgender Law Center. I’ve been a monthly donor for over three years, and I don’t plan on stopping. Beyond that, don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations with friends, family, and coworkers. Social progress doesn’t happen without all of us.
That’s all for today—thanks, as always, for reading and supporting this newsletter. See you right here next week, or this Sunday if you decide to…