Welcome to Our Hip Restaurant Bathroom—Good Luck Figuring Out How the Hell Our Sink Works

It’s the third Sunday of the month, so it’s time to take a break from my usual politically-minded humor. Instead, I’ve decided to do a roast of… hip restaurant bathrooms! I hope you enjoy:

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Welcome to our hip restaurant bathroom! We’re sure you’re eager to do your business, wash up, and get back to dining with your friends and loved ones. But first, you’ll have to figure out how the hell our sink works. God be with you.

To start, you’ll need to ask yourself a few questions. Questions like: “Does the toilet work like a normal toilet?” and also “Is this the toilet?” Go ahead, get started and see how you do!

Surprise: you just pissed in the sink! That’s right, our sink looks exactly like a group of toilets with one shared trough. The toilets are all along the wall, and they look like sinks. Yup, you guessed it: you just washed your hands in the toilet. Way to go!

Now, once you’ve found the real toilets and done your business…