Welcome to Your Bank, Where We Don't Keep Any of Your Money

Hi there, welcome to your bank, where you deposit your money for safe-keeping, and then we get rid of it immediately. We’re honored to have your business.

Do you have more money you’d like to keep here? Terrific. Deposit it in-person or online—either way, we’ll make sure to keep it here for at least a few minutes before we do something absolutely unhinge…