If Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons Could Talk

Boss Baby
”Everyone who worked for me quit because I wasn’t paying them enough. I have no employees anymore. I guess… I guess I’m not a boss at all—I’m just a baby now. Fuck.”

Astronaut Snoopy
”Elon Musk is sending me on a one-way mission to Mars. I told him I didn’t want to go, but he said, ‘You and what union?’ I’m not sure what he meant, but now I’m say…