What is this?

It’s something. It’s always something.

How did I get here?

You took a wrong turn on your way to the bank.

Who are you?

I’m Eli. I’m an American satirist. I wrote This Won’t Help, a New Yorker Best Book of 2023. This is my newsletter. I publish new writing and writing-about-writing. Part diagnosis, part catharsis, always (hopefully) funny. Nothing will cure me from reading the news — I’m hoping this does:

Why subscribe?

You’ll receive free:

  • A new piece of topical satire, every week.

  • A short “Behind the Writing” section in which I break down where my ideas come from, how I feel about them, and occasionally my process for getting them out onto the page.

If you become a paid subscriber, you’ll also get:

  • Paid-only newsletters

  • Access to the entire archives (hundreds of humor pieces!)

  • Ability to join the community through comments and the Here’s Something chat.

  • My undying appreciation. This newsletter is able to exist through support from paid subscribers. So, thank you!

Subscribe to Here's Something

Popular American satirist publishing weekly topical humor. Part catharsis, part diagnosis, all funny.


Eli is a humor writer and satirist. He is a frequent contributor to The New Yorker and McSweeney's. His first book, This Won't Help--a collection of satirical essays--is forthcoming with The Experiment in Fall 2023. Preorder it today!