Here's Something

Here at Time, we’ve decided this is another one of those years we pick a person who fucking sucks

My sympathy is not in-network

Ideas to pay back the US national debt

I'm putting together a team. The worst fucking team of all time

Finally, the elites have been defeated by the billionaires

No matter what happens, we promise the text messages will not stop

Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

Tag lines for US presidents if they were on The Real Housewives

Super Bowl commercials, 2074

The country is divided in two halves. Plus another half.

I, too, am suspending my campaign

Diary entries from The Ultimate World Cruise