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You're invited to my birthday military parade
"If this goes well, we'll do one every month." Plus: Cowards!
Jun 12
14
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You're invited to my birthday military parade
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US announces plans to invade itself
"Please remember that the people stamping out your human rights are people, too."
Jun 8
12
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US announces plans to invade itself
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May 2025
I can’t be bribed or bought. Go ahead, please try.
My many homes are full of all the gifts I’ve turned down.
May 20
11
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I can’t be bribed or bought. Go ahead, please try.
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Our official policy is that measles can’t hurt us if we’re all dead
If you’re looking for medical advice, look elsewhere.
May 15
10
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Our official policy is that measles can’t hurt us if we’re all dead
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How to fund the arts
Start by insisting they support the military.
May 11
12
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How to fund the arts
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3
The cancer funds are being used for a greater purpose: My birthday parade
Addressing the rumors
May 4
12
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The cancer funds are being used for a greater purpose: My birthday parade
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April 2025
100 days down, 100 to go
Congratulations, you made it.
Apr 29
10
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100 days down, 100 to go
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Getting ahead of it: JD Vance almost definitely didn't kill the pope
There's barely any evidence
Apr 21
28
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Getting ahead of it: JD Vance almost definitely didn't kill the pope
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6
Hi, I’m Jesus, and when I get back, I want all the eggs hidden
Hiding eggs? In THIS economy??
Apr 20
9
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Hi, I’m Jesus, and when I get back, I want all the eggs hidden
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Behind the Writing, April 14
On writing and submitting, hours after news breaks
Apr 14
7
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Behind the Writing, April 14
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Our plan worked—stocks are skyrocketing back to less than they were before
We did it!
Apr 10
14
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Our plan worked—stocks are skyrocketing back to less than they were before
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Other uses for the US stock market chart
From the White Lotus and the Rizzler to free speech
Apr 9
9
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Other uses for the US stock market chart
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