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Requirements for Neuralink human test candidates
It's a short list. Please. Someone sign up.
1
Pop Quiz: Fall of Rome, or Right Now?
Another (timely) excerpt from my book!
An excerpt from my upcoming book
Working hard for passive income!
Stressed About Life? Try Our New Product, Reading The News™
Get stressed about something out of your control instead!
"It's Time to Vote" Whispers the GOP at 1am on a Wednesday
The words are barely more than sounds.
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Recall Notice: Your Lower Back™
Affected customers should stop using their Lower Back™ immediately.
2
Key Differences Between Barbie and Oppenheimer
One had an existential crisis, one had a favorite hat.
1
Inflation Q&A: Hot Dog Edition
Hot dogs cost a lot more to borrow than they used to.
Who Will Be Our Next President? This Small Town Has No Idea and Wants Us to Stop Asking Them
"Please stop coming here," said the town's librarian.
The Wildfire Smoke Episode of Seinfeld
"Particulates, Jerry! Fine Particulates!"
4
And Jesus Said Unto Them, “Go Scream at Mannequins in Target”
His disciples asked, "What, pray tell, is a Target?"
3
Must-Watch: Two of the Worst Guys You've Ever Heard of Are Gonna Talk to Each Other
Elon Musk and Ron DeSantis, a match made in hell.
2
Nepo Baby? King Charles Looks Suspiciously Like Queen Elizabeth
The job only gets posted every two to seven decades.
3
Pre-order my book!
Worth it just for the cover art, tbh
4
Here's Something
Here's Something
Popular American satirist publishing weekly topical humor. Part catharsis, part diagnosis, all funny.
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PREORDER MY BOOK
"THIS WON'T HELP"
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