Sitemap - 2025 - Here's Something
Man stuns political establishment by running on platform of good ideas
You're invited to my birthday military parade
US announces plans to invade itself
I can’t be bribed or bought. Go ahead, please try.
Our official policy is that measles can’t hurt us if we’re all dead
The cancer funds are being used for a greater purpose: My birthday parade
Getting ahead of it: JD Vance almost definitely didn't kill the pope
Hi, I’m Jesus, and when I get back, I want all the eggs hidden
Our plan worked—stocks are skyrocketing back to less than they were before
Other uses for the US stock market chart
At long last, we have been liberated from being able to afford anything
You are free to say anything you'd like, so long as it's exactly what we also like
“He’s just trolling us,” I say as I pay 200 dollars for eggs
Strange. The plan to make everything more expensive is somehow making everything more expensive.
We've decided to cut taxes. Not yours, though.
9 (of 100) years of The New Yorker
The jokes I wrote for SNL that never aired
We're being maximally transparent. For instance, we [REDACTED]
Hi, I’m Zack. I'm 19 and I'm in charge of the treasury now.
Finally, the right people control our money: a person
Tariffs: What you need to know
A brand new way to put people out of work
Somebody needs to do something. Not me, but somebody.
Opening remarks at the National March for Forced Birth
These things, they don't exist
The right side of history (the side where it ends)
I, for one, have never been critical of the Emperor of Death
Our peace plan was simple: kill everyone
Questions for your congressional hearing
For your crimes, you will be sentenced to four years as president
Fact-checkers are biased against the things I keep making up