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Here's Something: 2022 in Review

Reported Problems With Santa's New Tesla Sleigh

ChatGPT Writes Holiday Cards

How to Tell if You're Watching the World Cup Final

Here at Tesla, We're Constantly Innovating New Ways of Creating Car Crashes

Kyrsten Sinema in Other Situations

Jesus Christ Weighs in on Wedding Websites

NYT Op-Ed Guidelines

Your 2022 Eavesdropping Wrapped

Allow Me to Demonstrate That I’ve Never Worked a Single Day in the Service Industry

Earth's Annual "Thanksgiving" Celebration: Xornax's Report

How to Get Taylor Swift Tickets

Where I Was Each Time I Heard the News That Pete Davidson Was Dating a New Celebrity

What Democracy Isn't

The Race Between the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss is Still Too Close to Call

How I Spent $300 Billion Planning the World Cup

It Now Costs $100 a Month to Speak

Before You Leave This Airbnb...

Your New Credit Card Rewards

Honeymoon Break!

Mom News Hour!

Key Differences Between The Great British Baking Show and The Great American Baking Show

How to Make a Butter Board, If You Must

3-Sentence Scary Stories for Americans

Other Kinds of Guys

Fall, 2150

We Are Gathered Here Today to Mourn the Loss of Someone None of Us Actually Knew At All

Systems That Would Be Better Than a Hereditary Monarchy

Now That I am Rich, I Won't Shut the Fuck Up

We’re Canceling Student Loan Debt the Same Way We Cancel a Person

How to Choose What to Eat for Dinner

I'm Writing a Book!

New CDC Guidelines for the Ongoing Shark Attacks

The Life of the Safe at Mar-a-Lago

We're the US Senate, and We Waited Until the Last Possible Minute to Start and Finish Our Big School Project

The Secret Habits of the Ultra Wealthy

Nutrition Facts for American Democracy

Situations in Which the Only Solution Was to Vote

Top 5 Ways to Beat the Heat in 2150

You Can’t Charge Me for a Crime I Already Committed!

Welcome to Our Hip Restaurant Bathroom—Good Luck Figuring Out How the Hell Our Sink Works

I Took Some Photos For NASA, Too

Ginni and Clarence Thomas Renew Their Vows

Here at the New York Times, We Believe Every Op-Ed—No Matter How Dangerous—Must Be Carried to Term

How I Imagine That Conversation Went Between Susan Collins and Brett Kavanaugh

Other Reasons Trump Tried to Grab the Wheel of the Presidential Limo

Protect and Expand Abortion Access

We’re Making a Reality Show Based on Squid Game to Prove That We Didn’t Understand the Point of Squid Game

Proof That Google’s AI is Three Kids in a Trench Coat

You Can’t Charge Me for a Crime I Already Committed!

Hearing Hoofbeats and Thinking Frogs

This Flight Is Carbon Neutral

What If This Thing That Never Happened, Happened? That Would Be Bad, Right?

How To Retire By Age 165

Heartbroken and Angry

I'm a Self-Help Guru and I'm Here to Ruin Your Life

It’s Me, a Person Who’s About to Refute an Opinion Nobody Holds

A Fossil Fuel Lobbyist Explains How to Help the Environment

Fundraising Emails From Assholes

If I Was On The New Kardashians

As the President of the United States, I Am Asking You to Please Solve This

The Cancellation of Jesus Christ

This Minimalist Home Keeps Things Simple

I've Gone to the Grocery Store Without a List

I'm The Batman. Please Stop Doxxing Me.

The Children... They're Hunting Us

I’m Jesus, and I Actually Had a Pretty Terrible Friday

CEOs React to Severance

My Top Ten Grammy Predictions

Moments You May Have Missed at the Oscars

Show Your Solidarity With Ukraine By Buying Our Latest Product

How I Became Rich and Famous Through Hard Work, Determination, and Having Rich and Famous Parents

Nice. The Only Thing Everyone in Our Country Can Agree On is What Time It Should Be.

We Just Need to Let Kids Be Kids by Intensely Controlling What They Learn and Who They Are

Things That Are Censorship

We’re the US Senate, and Our Job is to Represent Up To or Less Than 40 Percent of Americans

What It Takes to Own a Major League Baseball Team

I’m a Guy Who Did All His Own Research on the Vaccine, and I Want to Talk to You About Ukraine

The Tortoise and the Hare: Part I

We Regret to Announce That We Need to Raise Our Prices, Because It Will Make Us a Shitload of Money

But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci's Spotlight Operator

Famous Movie Quotes About Love, But For Married People

How to Walk 10,000 Steps a Day in Your Apartment

A Comedian's Job

Other Groundhog Day Outcomes

I’m Joe Manchin

Ways Mitch McConnell Plans to Delay Replacing Justice Breyer for the Next Three Years

Please Enjoy This Show About the Addictive Danger of Power, From Amazon

Two Years Into the Sinking of the Titanic, We’ve Decided to Give Every Passenger a Life Vest

To My Favorite Subscribers (The Paying Ones)

A Brief History of the Filibuster I Just Made Up

Quiz: Fall of Rome, or Right Now?

Bad News Wordle